March 4th

March 4Th would have been Mine and Kevin's 10Th anniversary. I didn't think about it most of the day. Occasionally I would get mad because we were supposed to go to Disneyland on our 10Th, but other than that it was totally out of my head. I was packing my closet and I fond on that day of all days my wedding video. I had totally forgotten that I even had one. Just for kicks I put it in and Mike and I watched it. the Quality was really bad ( it was VHS) and it look all cartoony and weird. We knew Mike would be in some of the video so we spent our energy watching for him. When we saw him we would get excited and laugh and tried to remember what we said to each other. He would comment how pretty I looked and how my smile made still makes him week at the knees. Most of the video didn't bother me, it was the very end that really touched me and began to make me tear up and hurt a bit. I had taken still pictures of the times we had BEFORE we were married and put them to music. A blind Idiot could tell how happy we were. Kevin once said our marriage ruined our friendship and from the look of those pictures, that was a bare bones true statement. He was my best friend. I cared about him so much. I only wish some of that friendship could have carried over to our marriage. I wish I could find a few pictures so you could you what we felt together once upon a time.